Duan Yingmei

Duan Yingmei
Talk to myself
Video 05:52

Video Film In 2001

I get a caretaker job, which involves a lot of gardening. Almost every day I am outside for 2 hours. I work alone and the fresh air gives me the feeling of freedom. While my body is busy with the work, running like a machine, my thoughts are elsewhere. I talk a lot to myself. The video shows the garden work in process. I sweep leaves and continually talk to myself in my mother-tongue. (One can read the text translation in the sub-title). In the end one can hear my voice. I sing the Chinese song ¡°Looking for Friendship¡±. ¡°...I saw these machines again yesterday. Every time I see these machines, I have to laugh......Yesterday I saw a funny little dog. Really funny! Perhaps he had never seen a Chinese woman before? He was so sweet! (Laughing), I always have to laugh

when I think of this dog... ...Why do people think? Why? I don¡¯t know. What is good? What is bad? (Sigh) What is right? What is wrong?Why do I still not know?... ...Why do friendships make me feel so tired? What kind of a person am I? Am I happy? (Sigh) I have no idea! Why am I so diligent every day? Why? Why do I have so much to do every day? Perhaps I will die tomorrow, or just not wake up.Everything passes me by. Nothing is there any more! (Sigh) I want to stop the clock. I want to stop all the clocks!... ¡±

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